December 1, 2018
Chapter 7: Transitions
Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening. I hope your belly is full. I hope your feet are warm. I hope your mind is at rest. Happy December to you, my dearest reader. As we transition into the final month of this year, I find myself to be calm, quiet, and internal. My heart is warm. My mind is at peace. My body is at rest. All is quiet around me. The only sounds I hear are my fingers tapping on my laptop and the ocean in the distance. I just closed my eyes and took in a deep belly breath to really appreciate what I have just typed. Had you told me this is where I would be today, one year ago, I would have been perplexed.
One year ago at this time my life looked quite different. I was newly single. Heartbroken and devastated at that. I was crying a lot and entirely depleted by recent events. I lived in an one bedroom apartment with my daughter. I lived in my hometown. I had just began writing and ecstatic dancing. I also had fringe bangs. Did I paint you a sweet picture or what?
I have been single for over a year. My heart is happy and alive. I still cry a lot and have totally embraced that form of healing. I have been living with friends for 3-months in their detached cottage bedroom in Santa Cruz. I am moving into a new place in a couple of days. I have completed my book and am in the final stages before self-publishing. I have ecstatic danced every week, multiple times a week, for over a year now. I have super curly hair that I refer to as my lion mane. How about that visual?
Different. Very, very, different.
If I had to choose three words to describe this year I would choose: transition, authenticity, and death.
Let’s shine light on transition, as that is what is most alive for me. This year has been full of them. I transitioned out of a relationship, I transitioned into being on my own again, I transitioned out of a work schedule that was depleting me and into one that was nourishing me, I transitioned from casually journaling to actively writing my book, I transitioned back into dating, I transitioned away from dating and explored autonomy and my relationship with self, I transitioned my home into a storage unit, I transitioned into a new city, and as mentioned above, in just a few days times, I will transition, once again, into a new home.
Whew. Yeah, a lot of movement. Internal and external. Which is precisely why I committed to a meditation practice earlier this year. It was the only time my life felt fucking still.
Something I have learned about transitions is that they can be really beautiful, especially if you really give yourself permission to be in it. There can be a lot of uncertainty in transitions and I have found that welcoming the uncertainty, rather than fearing it, makes transitions that much more beautiful. Like, “okay, I don’t know how the fuck this will turn out but I’m going to fully fucking marinate in this mystery and stay curious.”
Something I encourage often, in both my meditation and yoga classes, is to pause and be in the transition.
For example, as you slowly reawaken from savasana at the end of your yoga practice and roll to your side in fetal position.
When you come back to your body, after sitting quietly in meditation for twenty minutes.
As I sit on my bed, writing this newsletter, just two days before another move.
I welcome the transition.
I give myself permission to be in it.
I stay curious.
I trust the mystery that is my life.
I trust what is aligning with me.
So, my dearest reader, I wonder if you are transitioning right now too? Or perhaps you have just moved through a transition and are settling. Grounding. Rooting. Wherever you may be on your path right now, let’s make a few promises to each other. Let’s promise to be gentle with ourselves while we navigate our life path. Let’s allow ourselves to pause in the moments that challenge us, but also very much the moments that are joyful. Let’s close our eyes and take deep breaths more frequently, to bring us into the present moment. Let’s embrace the unknown, rather, let’s open our arms and hearts to it. And as the days get shorter, and the darkness surrounds us, let’s keep coming together to remind each other of our light.
That sounds good to me.
Real fucking good.
Thank you for being here.
I love you a lot.